[MD] Hippies

[Arlo Bensinger]

Hi Ant,

I thought in support of your recent post, I'd include the opening 
transcript from the South Park episode, "Die Hippie, Die!".

+++++++++++++++++++++++

[An elderly woman's home. Cartman rings her doorbell, and she answers it. 
Cartman is dressed in an orange hazmat suit and is carrying a tank of 
something on his back]

Cartman: Hello, ma'am. I'm working to clean up the neighborhood from 
parasites. Do you mind if I take a quick look around your house? I'm afraid 
you may have hippies.

Elderly Woman: Hippies?

Cartman: [walks in and begins to rap the walls with his fist] Yeah, they've 
been poppin' up all over the neighborhood lately. Ms. Nelson next door had 
seven hippies in her basement; they usually live in colonies. [raps on the 
wall and the pitch changes] Hm, I don't like the sound of that. Could I 
take a look in your attic?

[The attic. He opens the door and looks in. He gets out a flashlight, turns 
it on, and looks around again. He stops after a few seconds.]

Cartman: Oh yeah, boy. Take a look at this, ma'am. [she climbs up until her 
eyes are level with his] See that? Hippies. [five hippies are sitting in a 
clearing in the attic, smoking and laughing.]

Elderly Woman: Oh my.

Cartman: These are what we call the uh giggling stoners. Pretty common form 
of hippie, usually found in the attics. Problem is, if you see one hippie, 
there's probably a whole lot more you're not seein'. Uh, whe-where's the 
backyard.

[The backyard. The elderly lady opens the door and Cartman walks out onto 
the back porch]

Cartman: Yep, that's what I thought. See that? You've got a drum circle in 
your backyard. [eight hippies are seen seated around a small campfire 
drumming away. Logs are scattered around them]

Elderly Woman: Oh, well they showed up a few days ago, but I didn't think 
they were hurting anything.

Cartman: Yeah. You know, I had a guy in Jackson county. He had a little 
drum circle in his backyard. It turned into a drum circle four miles in 
diameter. You get a few hippies playing drums and next thing you know, you 
got yourself a colony.

Elderly Woman: Oh dear.

[back inside the house]

Elderly Woman: Oh, well, so, so what do I do?

Cartman: [goes back to rapping the walls, then stops] Well, your attic 
could be so we can fumigate with polymerethane. The drum circle we're gonna 
have to gas. [raps again. The wall begins to crack and he steps aside. A 
hippie breaks through and falls to the floor. Cartman says under his 
breath] Goddamnit! [pulls out a fire extinguisher from his backpack]

Hippie 1: [dazed and confused, coughing] Whoa, how did I get here? Man, I'm 
so high.

Cartman: Goddamn hippie! [opens fire. Foam spews out from the extinguisher]

Hippie 1: Whoa, dude!

Cartman: Get out of here!

Hippie 1: Not cool! [stands up and looks at Cartman] What's up?! [runs off]

Cartman: Ma'am, I need to clear out your giggling stoners and your 
drum-circle hippies RIGHT NOW, or soon they're gonna attract something much 
worse!

Elderly Woman: Ooooo.what's that?

Cartman: The college know-it-all hippies.

+++++++++++++++++++++++

Heheheheh.... this cracks me up almost as much as Monty Python's Cheese 
Shop sketch....

Arlo

Cartman: They're not people, they're HIPPIES!