[MD] Food for Thought

[ARLO J BENSINGER JR]

[Dan]
So we're back to the original question: how do you know people you meet online
are who they say they are? Is this idealized personality really that person?
And if so, why the disappoint in "real" life?

[Arlo]
How do we know the people we meet "in real life" are who they say they are?
Again, they are "real" insofar as they are what we know, online or off. In that
sense, whatever online "identity" they project must be accepted or rejected for
what it is, just as you would face-to-face.

[Dan]
But why go to the local tavern? I mean, you could sit home in front of the
computer tipping a few and chatting with friends online. What's the difference?
Is it the "whole" experience?

[Arlo]
There are social-environmental differences to be sure, and I turn to each when
the mood strikes. I just don't think my "identity" in this forum is any less
real than my "identity" in the tavern. 

[Dan]
I should think that the negotiation process rarely fails altogether. Rather
there's a series of stages a new kid might pass through, eventually settling
into a comfort zone. One's "true nature" eventually shines through.

[Arlo]
Yeah, I worded that poorly. What fails is the attempt to negotiate a similar
identity as one had known before. But some new identity IS, of course,
negotiated. 

But I do have to disagree on the notion of a "true nature". I'd think of it has
"habituated identity". "Nature" sounds to me "innate", changeless and somehow
evidencing a "real you" that sits behind the various roles/identities we cast.
And that I don't agree with.