[MD] Painting

[MarshaV]

Greetings,

Maybe I am an exhibitionist, or just plain luney, but painting is an 
experience different than anything else in my life.  Printmaking was 
the same and it's taken a long time to get back to really working 
from the inside out.  I don't know if trying to talk about it will 
ever make any sense, but I seem to be compelled to try to talk about 
it to dig deeper.

If you could see the first print I made after my husband died maybe 
you'd understand.  It was so dark and scary that it really frightened 
me.  I think it is safe to say it was of a woman splintered and out 
of her mind.  I don't want to produce such darkness.  There's too 
much negativity already.  I just didn't want to go there.

In 1998 I spent the summer in Italy with a friend and a group of 
primarily art students.  I wasn't sure I'd like the art.  I thought 
it was all that religious stuff.  But WOW!!!  It swept me away.  I 
decided the only thing to do was to just paint.

You can't think painting, at least I can't.  It has to be quite the 
opposite.  I have to let go.  Geez, words suck!!!  The painting is 
both the trip and the safety net.  But this MD Discuss forum is also 
been very special to me.  It's given me a way to restructure the 
world in a way that makes sense during the daylight hours.  It's a 
beautiful map!  And you are all beautiful.  In a strange way you are 
more my family than my family.  You are my sangha.

So I thank you all for your giving.

Marsha

p.s.  I've got another painting started.  It's much different that 
the last one, but also the same.