[MD] LILA’s Solioquy

[kieffer odigaunt]

Did Pirsig ever meet someone like Lila that he then based his story on? Or
was the Mother/Buddha Lila wholly Pirsig's invention.

-KO

2008/12/21 MarshaV <marshalz at charter.net>

>
> Once again I will post this.  This time I would like to mention the most
> important aspect from my point-of-view.  It's that when Lila states that
> that she's nobody,  "I'm not anything", "nobody's home", she is
> acknowledging selflessness.
>
>
> ------
>
> 'What?'
>
> 'I'm not going to answer any more of your questions.'
>
> 'Why not?'
>
> 'You're the detective. That's what you are. You think you're going to learn
> something. I don't know what, but you're not going to learn anything . . .
> You'll never find out who I am because I'm not anything.'
>
> 'What do you mean?'
>
> 'I'm not anybody. All these questions you're asking are just a waste of
> time. I know you're trying to find out what kind of a person I am but you're
> never going to find out anything because there's nothing to know.'
>
> Her voice was getting slushy. She could tell it was getting slushy.
> 'I mean, I used to play I was this kind of person and that kind of person
> but I got so tired of playing all those games. It's such work and it doesn't
> do any good. There's just all these pictures of who I am and they don't hold
> together. They're all different people I'm supposed to be but none of them
> are me. I'm not anybody. I'm not here. Like you now. I can see you've got a
> lot of bad impressions about me in your mind. And you think that what's in
> your mind is here talking to you but nobody's here. You know what I mean?
> Nobody's home. That's Lila. Nobody's home.
> 'You know what?' Lila said.
>
> 'What?'
>
> 'What you want to do is make me into something I'm not.'
>
> 'Just the opposite.'
>
> 'You think just the opposite. But you're really trying to do something to
> me that I don't like.'
>
> 'What's that?'
>
> 'You're trying to . . . you're trying to destroy me.'
>
> 'No.'
>
> 'Yes.'
>
> 'Well, you've completely misunderstood what I'm asking these questions
> for,' the Captain said.
>
> 'No, I haven't. I've completely understood it just exactly right,' Lila
> said. 'All men do that. You're no big exception. Jerry did it. Every man
> does it. But you know something? It won't work.'
>
> 'I'm not trying to destroy you,' he said.
>
> 'That's what you think. You're just playing around the edges, aren't you!
> You can't go to the center of me. You don't know where the center of me is!'
>
> That set him back.
>
> 'You're not a woman. You don't know. When men make love they're really
> trying to destroy you. A woman's got to be real quiet inside because if she
> shows a man anything they'll try to kill it.
> 'But they all get fooled because there's nothing to destroy but what's in
> their own mind. And so they destroy that and then they hate what's left and
> they call what's left, "Lila," and they hate Lila. But Lila isn't anybody.
> That's true. You don't believe it, but it's true.
> 'Women are very deep,' Lila said. 'But men never see it. They're too
> selfish. They always want women to understand them. And that's all they ever
> care about. That's why they always have to try to destroy them.'
>
> 'I'm just asking questions,' the Captain said.
>
> 'Fuck your questions! I'm whatever your questions turn me into. You don't
> see that. It's your questions that make me who I am. If you think I'm an
> angel then that's what I am. If you think I'm a whore then that's what I am.
> I'm whatever you think. And if you change your mind about me then I change
> too. So whatever Richard tells you, it's true. There's no way he can lie
> about me.'
> Lila took the bottle and took a swig down straight. 'The hell with
> glasses,' she said. 'Everybody wants to turn Lila into somebody else. And
> most women put up with that, because they want the kids and the money and
> the good-looking clothes. But it won't work with me. I'm just Lila and I
> always will be. And if men don't like me the way I am, then men can just get
> out. I don't need them. I don't need anyone. I'll die first. That's just the
> way I am.'
> After a while Lila looked around and saw that all the boats were lying
> straight in line just like the Captain said they would be. That's pretty
> good. He'd figured that out. She told him about it. He didn't say anything.
> He hadn't said anything for a long time.
>
>               (LILA, Chapter 14)
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> .
> .
> Credo of Albert Einstein:  Although I am a typical loner in daily life, my
> consciousness of belonging to the invisible community of those who strive
> for truth, beauty and justice has preserved me from feeling isolated.
> .
> .
> .
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