[MD] Chance

[Ham Priday]

Ron --

I had no idea of your personal situation, Ron.  Is it the result of military 
combat in Vietnam or the Middle East?  War is probably the greatest evil 
perpetuated by mankind, and we tend to forget the sacrifices made by our 
gallant men and women, mental as well as physical.  We also tend to forget 
history, which teaches us the necessity of war to defend our freedom.  We 
all want to be in control of our lives, but when disaster strikes we lose 
confidence in this possibility.

Under such circumstances, it would seem that a deeply-rooted belief system 
would be especially meaningful, and perhaps you are in the process of 
"working that out".  You know my convictions on morality in an amoral 
universe.  And, like most of the MoQers here, you have an understanding of 
Quality (value).  What you may not fully understand is that value comes in 
all flavors, and that what is abhorrent to you affects your psychic 
sensibility and general well-being.  Whatever life has thrown at you in the 
past is an indelible part of that being, in the same way that a physical 
injury leaves its mark.

I'm no psychologist, but I suspect that what you're experiencing is the 
psychic pain of rejecting terrifying values, while at the same time 
realizing that you can't erase them from memory.  Fortunately, life presents 
us with a balance of good and bad, and by identifying with the former we can 
displace the worst affects of the latter.  The fact that you've been a good 
husband and father throughout your discomfort is quite encouraging.  (I've 
known of some young men with PTSD who were no longer able to manage their 
affairs, one of them having to receive 24-hour professional care.)

While I can appreciate your reluctance to stake your claim on a particular 
philosophy, especially one that is metaphysically grounded, the pursuit of 
understanding can lead to an epiphany, and personal conviction can be 
therapeutic in your life-experience.  I'd still like to exchange ideas with 
you, and we can even proceed along the lines of the MoQ, if that is your 
preference.  I was pleased to read a revealing post today by none other than 
DMB, which demonstrates that value-sensibility is alive and well in this 
group, if not precisely defined.

Talk to me when you're ready, Ron.  (And thanks for taking control of those 
intitial caps.)

Best regards,
Ham