[MD] gav learns from some wise women (part 1 - susie)

[gav]

hiya everybody,
as i am at a loose end and i have just inhaled some passionfruit slice and a mug o coffee i will now bore you silly with a brief summary of my northern odyssey, which i have recently returned from.

okay geography lesson:
spent the last 5 weeks upon the atherton tablelands which are due west of cairns, qld's far north capital; known for its access to the barrier reef and rainforests.

i spent most of my time at a place called ravenshoe, which at 961m is qld's highest town (yawn...okay enough tourist stuff)

before i left my comfortable brisvegas abode for this relatively impromptu adventure i made the conscious decision to learn from women, wise women (this decision was prompted by a break-up i had....i didn't handle it well, nor did i treat my ex with enough honour, to my dismay).

i began before i left by reading anais nin and angela carter and enjoying them immensely, but the bulk of my learnings were to be had on the tablelands and they began after a strange night out in cairns (the place was overrun by US navy and marines, with an average age, it seemed, of 14). next day i was driven up the mountain to ravenshoe, a journey of about 2 hours up through some majestic rainforest before plateauing upon the tablelands themselves.

a brief stop at a wind farm (the gentle hum of the blades had a relaxing effect) and a cafe for a cuppa and a bacon and egg roll and i was met by susie my canadian-australian host for the next 4 weeks. 

susie is 50, petite and attractive....and a workaholic. susie is building up a national net-based hemp business (pure delight hemp) very rapidly. she is also a competent builder, has a PhD in psychology and is a practising naturopath. susie lives alone; she has been married twice.

susie was difficult to live with. my co-workers on the farm, jens (german) and owen (scottish), provided enough of a buffer to keep me from saying 'fuck it! build your own house', on more than one occasion. susie is not a good communicator (but she thinks she is). 

i will try not to paint an unfair portrait here. a lot of my discomfort was due to susie hitting my sore points, my weak points. susie's diligence, as well as her less than perfect managerial skills, both forced me to become more conscious of what i was doing - from doing the dishes, to building a roof, to explaining something. both consciously and unconsciously susie was teaching me a great deal in a very short space of time.

for instance i learnt that money is a temptress few can resist. susie espoused the ethos of anarchism, yet she was a capitalist in action. her financial success, borne of her own hard work and ingenuity, resulted in the dollar value being highest amongst her value priorities. she wanted to be an ambassador for hemp...a pioneer of the new plant based global economy, but she also wanted to be a boss within it. susie, evidently, did not see the need for a new economic structure (democratic), as well as a new economic foundation (hemp instead of oil). she was regularly frustrated by business connections 'letting her down', when all they were doing was refusing to be subordinate to her designs. 

susie was also a woman who had traded on her looks for most of her life. she was still attractive but at 50 she was not the stunner she was at 30. she made no apolgies for her ego on this point but it had warped her to a degree. she had developed a grudge against men and this did not flatter her.

 susie is doing what she does, primarily, for the planet and for her survival. she ardently believes that the world is headed for very difficult times and she may well be correct. she will certainly be okay on her remote farm which is already substantially self-sufficient and bordered by national parks and a wild river. 

but the cynicism which has crept into susie, i suspect, over the years, colours her view of the future markedly. to her most people are stupid and doomed. she subscribes to nearly all conspiracy theories, which can be summarised as a belief in 'us and them'. we on this list know that it is more accurate to see it as between 'the giant' and 'the individual', the social and intellectual levels, but i did not have the time, nor find enough receptivity in susie to explain this subtle point. i did however leave her a message in writing explaining that the biggest conspiracy theory of all is convincing ourselves that it's the end of the world, and that there is no 'us' and 'them', just us and us and us. i do believe that the next 20 years will see amazing change, perhaps catastrophic change, but the future of each one of us depends on how we treat and care for each other. i do not believe running to the hills and saying 'fuck you!' to the rest of the world is
 honourable, nor is it an efficacious way of achieving an edenic future.

susie had a good book collection, which i took advantage of. 'the holographic universe' by michael talbot is pure gold and came out the same year as 'lila'. 'the vision' by tom brown jr is also excellent. but susie couldn't understand why i also read my own novels whilst there ('she' by rider haggard, gave me a lot of fun). she thought 'made-up' books were useless. this woman had been seduced by the somitic world of *fact*; she did not understand that the value-truths of poetry and literature are prior to the literal truths of 'objective reality'. she did not understand that the logos is derived from the mythos.

my great lesson from susie was to leave there liking her, and i am so glad to say that i did learn this lesson (i had my doubts let me tell you). i saw the vulnerability beneath the facade enough times...enough to warm my heart towards her. i understood that a lot of my probs with her were me seeing aspects of myself i didn't like reflected in her, and i learnt to understand her shortcomings, understand their logic and that there was no malice behind them, which again was really me coming to a greater acceptance of myself, of everything.

enough for now....part 2 - 'cheryl and lisa' forthcoming.







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