[MD] Master Hu and the Sweetland Bypass Effect

[John Carl]

>From the very end of The River
Why<http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_River_Why_(novel)> ,
which I notice is going to be a movie soon.  sigh.

There was an old Taoist who lived in a village in ancient China, named
Master Hu.  Hu loved God and God loved Hu, and whatever God did was fine
with Hu, and whatever Hu did was fine with God.  They were friends.  They
were such good friends that they kidded around.  Hu would do stuff to God
like call him "The Great Clod".  That's how he kidded.  That was fine with
God. God would turn around and do stuff to Hu like give him warts on his
face, wens on his head, arthritis in his hands, a hunch in his back, canker
sores in his mouth and gout in his feet.  That's how He kidded.  That God.
What a kidder!  But it was fine with Hu.

Master Hu grew lumpy as a toad; he grew crooked as cherry wood; he became a
human pretzel. "You Clod!  he'd shout at God, laughing.  That was fine with
God.  He'd send Hu a right leg ten inches shorter than the left to show He
was listening.  And Hu would laugh some more and walk around in little
circles, showing off his short leg, saying to the villagers, "Haha!  See how
the Great Clod listens! How lumpy and crookedy and ugly He is making me!  He
makes me laugh and laugh!  That's what a Friend is for!"  And the people of
the village would look at him and wag their heads: sure enough, old Hu
looked like an owl's nest; he looked like a swamp; he looked like something
the dog rolled in.  And he winked at his people and looked up at God and
shouted, "Hey Clod!  What's next?"  And splot!  Out popped a fresh wart.

The people wagged their heads till their tongues wagged too.  They said,
"Poor Master Hu has gone crazy."  And maybe he had.  Maybe God sent down
craziness along with the warts and wens and hunch and gout.  What did Hu
care?  It was fine with him.  He loved God and God loved Hu, and Hu was the
crookedest, ugliest, happiest old man in all the empire till the day he
whispered,

                 Hey Clod!  What now?


And God took his line in hand and drew him right into Himself.  That was
fine with Hu.  That's what a friend is for.