[MD] Stuck on a Torn Slot

[david buchanan]

Dan:
I don't think you're being particularly careless about people or bad with people. It's just that being polite or nice isn't always the most appropriate reaction. If you're paying money to the guy and he doesn't know what he's doing, you have a right to be angry. Basically, that means that a liar is trying to cheat you. Being nice about that just wouldn't be natural. And if he's young and foolish you did him a favor. He'll need to know that people don't get paid for pretending to know what they're doing. 

  

> Soul as a Verb
> 
> I have some extra parts left over.
> 
> The old boy whom I hired to rebuild carburetors for me seemed
> perplexed. Call him Ed. I explained that the kit was made for several
> different makes and that was why he ended up with seeming extra parts.
> At least I hoped that was why. I have to admit though, the fact that
> Ed didn't know that caused me a bit of consternation.
> 
> I don't work as well with people as I do with machines. They say I
> have a knack. And I suppose it is true. I just seem to know what to do
> when it comes to machinery. But, when it comes to dealing with people,
> I am for the most part flummoxed. I get pissed when someone doesn't
> catch on right away.
> 
> Let me see, I said. I hate having to do work over again that I have
> already paid someone else to do, and I could hear the anger in my
> voice. So could Ed. And I felt bad that I was angry with Ed but I
> couldn't help it. I popped the cover off and checked to see if any
> seals were missing. It seemed okay. But I was still pissed.
> 
> I dislike it when someone claims to know something when it is clear
> they do not know. The thing is though, sometimes they don't know that
> they don't know and there is no telling them. I mutter to myself that
> they are idiots but it is more than that. They have no soul... not a
> soul as a thing, a noun, but rather soul as a verb, as caring action.
> 
> Don't bother coming in tomorrow, Ed, I say. He has a hurt look but I
> don't care.
> 
> The building that serves as my motorcycle shop is a hundred years old.
> It once housed a butcher shop. Years ago, they'd butcher cows and pigs
> and keep the meat cool with ice they cut from the river during winter,
> sprinkling saw dust over the ice to act as insulation. The floor of
> the shop was made of foot-thick cork, again, to act as insulation from
> the summertime warmth. When I bought the building the floor was rotten
> so I hired a local boy to tear it out and replace it with concrete. We
> added a pneumatic floor lift at that time so as to make it convenient
> to change oil in cars and do brakes and other mechanical work.
> 
> Winter is coming... and the bike shop doesn't do well in the winter.
> The last couple years I've rented the place out to a couple brothers
> who diddle daddle with stock cars. They like my pneumatic lift. And it
> has served me well too. Still, in a town of 300, there are only so
> many cars that need oil changes and brake jobs, which kind of
> supplemented the income I made during spring and summer working on
> motorcycles. But it wasn't enough to keep the lights turned on and the
> taxes paid, so I rented the shop out three months a year. The brothers
> were good enough to let me come in and work when I had work.
> 
> This year, though, they are not renting the shop. I guess they don't
> have the extra money. So I printed up some flyers to try and scare up
> work,  otherwise I will have to go into my pocket to pay for the
> building's upkeep. I justified hiring Ed by telling myself the work
> would be there. And it might. But, if I cannot depend on him to do
> what he claims he knows how to do, then I may as well just do the work
> myself.
> 
> I feel stuck. Machines, I can fix. People, I can't. I suspect it is
> the difference between soul as a noun versus a verb. And I suspect
> that is exactly what Robert Pirsig is on about in ZMM when he talks
> about stuckness. He uses the torn slot in a screw to explain that
> stuckness but in my case, it pertains to people rather than machines.
> Still, the analogy is the same.
> 
> I realize as Ed is leaving that I've effectively fired him over a
> simple misunderstanding but I still don't care. I tell myself to shout
> out to him that I am sorry... go ahead and come on in tomorrow. But I
> don't say anything. I just let him leave. I know that there will be
> hard feelings but I still don't care. The thing is, a machine has no
> feelings.
> 
> Maybe that's why I like working with machines better than with people.
> 
> Thank you for reading,
> 
> Dan
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