[MD] Knots

[118]

[Platt]

> Hi Mark,
>
> We had much in common before and now even more. I, too,
> suffered a nervous breakdown years ago over a conflict of values
> that had potential devastating effect on my life. It was deep enough
> to require 22 shock treatments and hospitalization for three months.
> So I can relate to Pirsig's experience and like him, have worked to
> understand the underlying premises which affected me and why
> they turned out to be so self-destructive. Needless to say, his
> passage to higher understanding and sharing it in his books has
> led me to answers I never could have attained on my own. The
> experience proved to me the delusions S-O critical thinking can
> so easily create by it's infinite ability to weasel around any issue to
> justify a preconceived conclusion. The evidence of its shortcomings
> are everywhere, most recently in yesterday's U.S. election, but most
> notably in a highly educated Germany populace electing a Adolf
> Hitler. Probably the most egregious shortcoming of SOM is when
> it appeals to values without having the slightest idea of what its
> talking about.
>
> But, I digress. I just wanted to say, "You rock!"
>
> Platt.
>
> [Mark]
>
Hi Platt.  Thanks for the post and mutual admiration.  Sounds serious, and
certainly nothing to want to repeat, ever.

My sense was one of isolation.  Conversation had little meaning and did not
trigger the creative sense of contribution amongst others.  I was considered
a bright young star rising in the rank of neuropharmacology.  Published a
paper early on, discussing the stratification of receptors in the central
nervous system.  At night I would stay up reading all sorts of
existentialist material.  Had a two volume set of Philosophy that I studied
and filled in the margins of.  Nothing was off limits, from Kafka to
Eckhart.  Endless circular reductionism using a sort of scientific approach
reached its end.

I flew to the UK where there were experimental drugs at the time.  Such
drugs are meant to restore what was there, but the damage was pretty deep.
 If nothing else, they made it more tolerable.  I had great conversations
with serious psychiatrist on a variety of topics.  In the end they also
thanked me for helping them progress.  It was not often that I found such
humility in that profession.  Carl Jung strikes me as humble, wish I could
have met him.  I returned to the US and lived pretty isolated near San
Francisco for about six months drug free, and things began to return.
 Reading a lot of Campbell seemed to help, seems like I needed a hero.

Often, some trigger will bring back awareness of those internal times.  Now,
however, it brings me down to the simple awareness of my subjective sense.
 That is firm ground for me, and indeed it is magnificent in its wonder and
inexplicable presence.  It seems we all find some firm ground to stand on in
the end, if we need it.

It is certainly appropriate in my opinion to be concerned about the times.
 Individual freedom, with all its flaws, is indeed better than the
alternative.  This I put pretty high on the scale of Quality.

Regards,
Mark