[MD] The Return of the Burning Man

Tue Sep 7 11:05:09 PDT 2010

Laughter will wait for another day, Marsha.  Everything in its time.

On Mon, Sep 6, 2010 at 11:08 AM, MarshaV <valkyr at att.net> wrote:

>
> John,
>
> Even within its beauty this seems sad, i don't know what to say,
> but I wish I could make you laugh.
>
>
> Marsha
>
>
>
>
> On Sep 5, 2010, at 9:16 PM, John Carl wrote:
>
> > http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ww-_hsVxPa0&feature=related
> >
> > Separation doesn't mean the same with me and Lu that it does with other
> > people.  So I probably should use a different term.  We're not fighting
> or
> > angry.  We just realize a need to shift roles a bit.  Our kids are grown
> and
> > stable, and Lu's in a different place working in town, the main support
> of
> > the family.  That's a big difference.  I stay out on the ridge because
> this
> > is where my skills are needed, and its easier when nobody's around to fix
> > things, think and write.  I like it.  She didn't at first.  She never
> wanted
> > anything out of life but being a pampered housewife and tho' her high
> school
> > career counselor was shocked and tried to convince her otherwise, she
> never
> > wanted anything else.  And then she went off and married me.  Hah!  Go
> > figure.
> >
> > But she's really adapting well.  The kids she teaches art  really love
> her.
> > And they're all crazy for the drama class my middle child sarah is
> teaching
> > too.  Which is a big consideration.  Lu doesn't like forging through life
> on
> > her own.  She was born English and moved a lot.  English always want to
> know
> > the social rules, and when you move a lot, they're always changing.  But
> her
> > daughters are 21, 18 and 16 and all together they make a formidable and
> > survivable team.  They've been more economically productive doing baby
> > sitting than I have with carpentry!   The other teachers really love her
> and
> > the principle of the school is that the principal is in charge and she
> > absolutely adores her.  And she's shifting into something different, and
> its
> > hard, but she's doing well and I'm proud of her.
> >
> > And the fact that we just visit on weekends makes the weekends more
> intense.
> > There can be different rhythms of differing relationships and their not
> > always easy to explain to outsiders but for some reason it's important to
> > try.
> >
> >
> > Here is what I found at Burning Man - a circle.  A small circle, in
> cosmic
> > terms.  A literal circle drawn in the dust, by the hands of men and
> dwarfed
> > by the circles of the earth and the moon and the orbits of the cosmos,
> But a
> > circle full of human ideas and art.  Ideas and art that whispered "you
> don't
> > have to do it this way, or that way.  You don't have to be constrained by
> > social patterns."  Then DQ University and Masanobu Fukuoka and the idea
> that
> > living on the planet is being done all wrong, just blended with the
> circles
> > in my mind which I wish to continue, amplify upon and expand.  And I have
> to
> > draw apart to do so.
> >
> >
> > The time I went to Burning Man, my wife had a whole different
> perspective.
> > She  suffered a whole series of troublesome tragedy, unaided and all
> alone.
> > I'll leave it to her to give her perspective someday.  She says she'd
> > gonna.
> >
> > And that week was  followed  by my truck breaking down, my uninsured,
> brand
> > new motorcycle wreck and subsequent loss of work and so much crap in one
> go,
> > that if you took it apart from the whole rest of the deal, and weighed it
> in
> > the balances - I'd be found desperately wanting, no doubt about it at all
> in
> > MY mind.  But she persevered.  We both persevere.  I'm willin'.
> >
> > Lu actually has had grave doubts at times.  She did give me an ultimatum,
> > when I was heading to Burning Man that I'd better actually follow through
> on
> > this, or she'd lose faith, probably for good.  She'd grown tired of me
> > always talking about ideas I never implemented  so that was an extra
> drive
> > to get there and get it done, despite hell and high water, in an effort
> to
> > demonstrate something about new ways of living on the planet.
> >
> > A return to Burning Man now seems probably like the last idea in the
> world,
> > to request of my long-suffering wife.  But this time it is different.
>  This
> > time it isn't going to a far off place in the desert.  It's getting a
> > different attitude, where I am now.  Coming out of babylon, in this
> place.
> > And the advantage is I don't have to strike camp.  I can just leave it up
> > and use the structures I create.
> >
> > And by "this place" I don't mean "wherever I happen to be".  I mean THIS
> > place.  This place I dwell, this home on the ridge, this spot on the
> great
> > California surfboard.  This is important because I believe the purpose of
> > consciousness is to articulate environment.  to understand and "speak for
> > the trees".  To be a voice for a place and to demonstrate with right
> > actions, the best way of dwelling in that place, for yourself and for the
> > place.  It's a win/win, if done right.   I want to do it right and I sort
> of
> > have to ignore everybody else, to do that successfully.
> >
> > "The single man cares for the things of God, how he can please the Lord,
> but
> > the married man cares for the things of the world, how he can please he
> > wife."
> >
> > That was that misogynist Paul, speaking, but I'd bet  Buddha would agree.
> > I'd guess every man who ever lived would nod along with that formulation.
> > The trouble is, what to do about it?  Fight it, or go with the flow?  I'd
> > say my conclusion is go with the flow, but don't get swept away.  Surf,
> > rather than float.  Use some damn judgement, fer goodness sake.
> >
> >
> > The orchard, below the house, holds a school bus and old vehicles waiting
> to
> > be mechaniced.    A 73 VW camper that Bill used to own that needs the
> carbs
> > rebuilt and my grandpa's 73 chevy one-ton, dually, camper special that is
> > NON SMOG !! Yay.  That needs new ignition wiring, and a bunch of stuff
> that
> > needs organizing and one computer with internet connection, an RV and me.
>  I
> > won't be far.  some separations are meant as movement away but closer to
> the
> > heart.  Lu's in town and we'll probably try and rent out the house ASAP.
> >
> > And when the cold rains loom, I'll drive the RV down to Sacramento again,
> > live during the week and go to truck driving school.  Once my job is
> > established  Lu can stay home again for a while.  It's good to take turns
> in
> > marriage.  It really is.
> >
> >
> > Here's a special song for a special someone on their birthday.  This was
> the
> > first piece of music I ever bought in my life, Linda Ronstadt's Heart
> Like a
> > Wheel (.. but my love, for you is like a sinking ship, and my heart is on
> > that  ship out in mid ocean...  such poignancy!)
> >
> > Now that  I think about it I wouldn't be surprised if this song is a big
> > part of why I wanna be a truck drive! Along with a restless urge to keep
> > movin', to see what's over the horizon.  To travel.  In my mind, if
> nothing
> > else.
> >
> > http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IJHcD0kHTGk&feature=related
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