[MD] Dicks and limits

[rapsncows at fastmail.fm]

John,

I have been lying in bed trying to sleep, and I've thought of two things
that I want to get off my chest.

A long while back you had said something very much like: getting a man
to change the way he talks/interacts is like trying to make an ugly guy
handsome.  The second thing you said pretty recently, it was something
like: dmb, I will never butt into one of your conversations without your
wanting me to do so, ever again.  Both are related; and both would be a
big problem I think if they went unchecked ----- that is, sometimes you
have to put the wall right in front of you, on purpose.  We do not
choose our biology; in fact, so it seems, we do not choose to be born. 
I have said that the things we choose reveal who we are.  An ugly man
and a handsome man don't seem to have choice in that; they are
temporary/provincial trappings.  A man can choose how he voices himself!
 I think life is diverse enough to keep things interesting between
people who choose wisely --- that is, compassion, concern, etc.
shouldn't become boring.  (If it ever does, someone will have to cross
that bridge then.)

Anyway, to the second.  It is real easy to speak in superlatives.  These
superlatives can hide the important stuff behind the masks.  On the
other hand, once seeing behind the mask becomes conventional, all the
qualifiers like 'probably', and 'maybe', and 'I think', which are quite
important, might be able to be dropped conventionally for ease of
speaking.  This is something I caution against.  Anyway, I think such a
superlative as 'will never' is something you might come to regret. 
Fortunately, I think you deserve the right to take it back.  Life
doesn't hold one to such things.  But your reputation does suffer.

So, together, I would suggest - certainly for a case like this, where
you went out of your way to say it, and it wasn't just a slip-up - that
you consider this advice, that you come to agree with it (or help me see
why I am being unfair), and that you inform dmb of your reneging on that
comment.  Further, it seems you have kicked a surprised man when he is
down.  So while loneliness can be a bitch, such dickery might be even
worse!!!  I think you own him an apology.  I meant what I said about
dmb.  I think he is real smart, and before too long he will be back
kicking ass - in a good way.

Yours,
Tim
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  rapsncows at fastmail.fm

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