[MD] Crystallising Chaos.

[MarshaV]

At 12:14 PM 9/10/2006, SA wrote:

>      [Marsha]
>      I am trying to apply your ideas to my own
>personal psychological experience...  What has come to
>my mind is the experience of boredom (stasis).  I have
>stated throughout my life is that 'boredom is my
>greatest enemy'.   Why?  Because during periods of
>intense boredom I am most likely to create chaos, and
>chaos can be dangerous.  Of course chaos can also open
>one up to DQ and inspire growth.
>
>
>      [SA]
>Boredom is a static experience that lasts for
>some time, a time longer than not being bored.  This
>too is my downfall.  I would say another outcome of
>being bored is a feeling of being unsettled.  Yet, the
>odd aspect of this experience of being bored and
>unsettled is not changing what one is doing, thus, I
>feel bored still and unsettled but will not do
>anything about it.  Yet, if I feel unsettled and try
>to do too much, jumping from one activity to the next,
>not feeling satisfied with anything I'm doing, then I
>am changing and trying to do something different but
>it's not working.  My boredom and unsettlement is not
>released or rid of.  The only outcome to feeling bored
>or unsettled that would be satisfying to me is not
>feeling bored or unsettled and hence, a DQ experience.
>  Thus, when stuck in an static pattern too long, all
>that I want to do is rid that static pattern, even if
>that static pattern is full of many activities,
>therefore the static pattern may not be 'what I'm
>doing' it is the feeling of boredom that is the static
>pattern.

SA,

Yes, that's exactly it.  I'll give you an example.  I was in one of 
those nasty mid-life crisis.  Lots of good things were happening, but 
I felt bored, stuck, static.  It felt as if my own patterns of 
thinking were repeating, but not working.  I yearned for something, 
but I didn't know what.  I consciously decided to make a parachute 
jump to shake things up.  It helped, but I needed more.  I decided to 
make a freefall.  Six more static-line jumps later, I was ready for 
the 10-second freefall.  The ride to altitude felt like chaos.  My 
mind was racing, but I couldn't hold a thought, and my body was 
shaking so hard that I thought my jawbone would disconnect.  When it 
was my turn to jump, I pulled together the gumption to climb out onto 
the strut.  I let go and arched into a good position.  What can I say 
about those ten seconds?  Maybe that at the same time I counted to 
ten, my mind was wide open.  When my parachute opened safely, I 
remember thinking that I understood how ones whole life could pass 
before them in a second.  It changed me.  It totally restructured my 
perspective.  I experienced many things differently, maybe everything 
differently.

That's what I was remembering and thinking about when I wrote 
Mark.  That boredom demanded some DQ, but I had to throw myself into 
chaos to get it.  So it seemed to me that stasis gets to a point 
where it needs chaos to break up the static to get some of that 
delicious DQ.  I've had many similar experiences of much lesser intensity.

I was thinking that if there were crystallizing chaos that eventually 
leads to restructured static quality, there should also be stasis 
that breaks apart to lead to chaos.

Thanks for responding SA.

Marsha