[MD] Intellect v. Social (Main Event)

[ARLO J BENSINGER JR]

[Platt]
Whatever happened to Lucy, the purported mother of us all?

[Dan]
Turkana Boy was Lucy's cousin (twice removed) by marriage. They're still  trying
to discover Turk's (as he was affectionately known) father though it has been
long suspected that Uga Bugga (Case's great [to the 3127th power] grandpappy)
was the culprit.

[Arlo]
Ahh.. I should've expected Uga to be involved in this. Its hard, though, because
my upbringing tells me we are all the children of Noah's incestuous post-flood
daughter-banging (no wonder he spent his remaining years a wine-sloshed
drunkard on the slopes of Mt. Sinai!). Not to mention that this incestuous
beginning was a redux-incestuous start, since once before all our bloodlines
were tied to the incestuous union of the progeny of Adam and Eve. (Which leads
some scholars to believe the "Garden of Eden" is located somewhere in
Kentucky...)

[Dan]
Us silly Americans.

[Arlo]
A favorite South Park skit...

Mr(s) Garrison: Alright, kids. It is now my job to teach you the theory of
evolution.

Butters: Oh,boy!

Mr(s) Garrison: Now, I for one think that evolution is a bunch of BULL CRAP, but
I'm told I have to teach it anyway. [speaking of evolution] It was thought up
by Charles Darwin and it goes something like this. In the beginning we were all
fish, okay, swimming around in the water. And then one day a couple of fish had
a retard baby, and the retard baby was different, so it got to live. So retard
fish goes on to make more retard babies, and then one day a retard baby fish
crawled out of the ocean with its...mutant fish hands...and it had butt sex
with a squirrel or something, and made this...retard frog-squirrel...and then
that had a retard baby which was a monkey-fish-frog...and then this
monkey-fish-frog had butt sex with that monkey...that monkey had a mutant
retard baby that screwed another monkey and...that made you. So there you go.
You're the RETARDED OFFSPRING OF FIVE MONKEYS HAVING BUTT-SEX WITH A
FISH-SQUIRREL Congratulations!

See this on youtube (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ek1lMtCLRW0)