[MD] NYT: The Feminine Critique

[Arlo Bensinger]

[Akshay on Hunting Males and Gathering Females]
They are both necessary and complementary roles (ref. Yin and Yang 
complementarity), without which the world cannot be sustained.

[Arlo]
I think the true spirit of feminism is not that all women should "be 
like men", but these "complimentary roles" (as you call them) be 
decided on mutual negotiation and not on a biological basis. When my 
daughter was born, I willfully and respectfully assumed the role of 
"housedad", because in my situation at the time it made much more 
sense for her mother to continue her employment, both in terms of 
overall income, my greater ability to step-out-step-back of the job 
market and simply I wanted to be that caregiver 'more'.

Your greater point is far more important than the biological-gender 
one here, and that is how nearly all families these days are 
two-income families. We have devaluated the role of nurturer, 
caregiver, childraiser, to one of frivolity and waste. And we, as a 
culture, have set our sights on ever-increasing our income, 
ever-growing our collections of stuff, ever-feeding our hunger for 
more stuff, bigger boxes, and flashier gizmos. Our personal diasporas 
are getting larger, we move away, seeking better employment, or 
personal geographic happiness, and many no longer have access to the 
shared caregiver net that was extended family. "Kin" as Pirsig notes 
in ZMM. Indeed, "grandparenting" is also something we are replacing 
with "active retirement".

So, while I think your premise is important, focusing on the biology 
misses what's truly important. And that is the all families must find 
balancing roles between labor and nurture.