[MD] is-ness

[MarshaV]

At 08:01 PM 8/18/2008, you wrote:

>Marsha:
> > To be honest, if I get upset with anyone it would be
> > myself.  I worry
> > I don't make my point fully or coherently enough.
> > Thinking I sound
> > like a fool, unless I'm in the mood to be the fool,
> > that can deflate
> > me.
>
>SA:  I've mentioned doubt here on the forum before.  I've recently 
>brought up a post that is a big challenge and we'll see if some here 
>can face their fears or not.

It's a culture set to win.  No fear allowed.  That's why Siegfried is 
so appealing, he doesn't exist.  Not really.


>Marsha:
> > Sometimes I want to tell all of you what a woman knows
> > that you
> > do not because men are too dumb.  The next minute I'm
> > upset because I
> > think I must sound like a woman.
>
>SA:  You don't sound like a woman with "men are too dumb" 
>comment.  You sound like a self-doubting person.  Am I mirroring you enough?

I remember Arlo once writing, that people write of only who they want 
you to know.  Not so.  I don't have much filtering.  First that 
sometimes leaves me feeling vulnerable.  Second, according to Octavio 
Paz, men think that exposing themselves is a weakness, and therefore, 
women are weak.  I'm still a product of this culture, so of course I 
doubt.  I'm as f*cked up as the next America woman.

>   Your recent posts do come off as if your looking for somebody to 
> help you calm down, if that's what you mean by "challenge".

Is that so?  I meant honestly challenge MY thinking.  I care about 
the questions considered here.  I care that I think them through 
myself, not just mimic.  For instance, I like the idea of science, 
but I don't actually trust it.  It's a bit of a dilemma.  Nagarjuna's 
MMK blows my mind.  It both appeals to my bone marrow and alienates 
me.  When I'm out and about and attempting to chat with people, my 
talk seems false and true.  I don't like feeling false.  Even to my 
own family, there is a basic not speaking truth.  Do you understand 
what I'm saying?  I'm an alien.  Luckily I play well by myself.

And in the forum, I am not sure that I am representing the two truths 
correctly.  My language still sometimes sounds strange to me.


>Isn't the quiet challenge enough at times?  I mean, by challenge, 
>are you saying you want somebody to talk to and debate with.  That's 
>something the moq discuss website - cites - as what can stir a 
>discussion - controversy, be controversial and like Ham, Bo, and 
>Platt you might get people talking with you all the time, even if 
>you don't even like the moq and discuss the moq (Ham) you'll have 
>people talking to you on this forum all the time.  Ironic eh?

I'm think everyone is here because of ZMM, LILA, & MOQ, and are 
trying to work out these ideas for themselves.  That's good enough 
for me.  Now would be a good time for some quiet.


Marsha



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Shoot for the moon.  Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars.........
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