[MD] new old book

[Mary]

Hello John and Marsha,

> I can relate Marsha.  I don't do affirmation very well either.
> 
> On Sat, Apr 10, 2010 at 2:13 PM, MarshaV <valkyr at att.net> wrote:
> 
> >
> > Hello John,
> >
> > I can become miffed if told I'm wrong, but I feel absolutely
> mortified to
> > be told I'm right.
> 
> 
> I read a bit Garrison Keillor did once on midwestern deflection - those
> people can't take a compliment - they always divert it or deny it - "I
> love
> your dress".... "This old thing?".
> 
> He says it has it's roots not in true modesty, but wanting to be seen
> as
> modest and also because such people are really craving affirmation so
> much,
> that a slight compliment is never enough.  They say, "It was nothing
> really"
>  But what they actually want is to be crowned Sun God.  They want to
> say
> "Rise my people, lift your faces from the carpet.  Look me in the
> face."
> 
[Mary Replies] 
I was always in the Marsha camp on this, feeling very uncomfortable with
compliments until one day it occurred to me that it's part of the social
dance.  A compliment requires a gracious acceptance because if you fail to
do that you are in effect questioning the judgment of the complimentor
(sp?).  To accept a compliment is to give one in return.

Best to all you lovely people! :)
Mary