[MD] new old book

[MarshaV]

On Apr 12, 2010, at 8:11 AM, Mary wrote:

> Hello John and Marsha,
> 
>> I can relate Marsha.  I don't do affirmation very well either.
>> 
>> On Sat, Apr 10, 2010 at 2:13 PM, MarshaV <valkyr at att.net> wrote:
>> 
>>> 
>>> Hello John,
>>> 
>>> I can become miffed if told I'm wrong, but I feel absolutely
>> mortified to
>>> be told I'm right.
>> 
>> 
>> I read a bit Garrison Keillor did once on midwestern deflection - those
>> people can't take a compliment - they always divert it or deny it - "I
>> love
>> your dress".... "This old thing?".
>> 
>> He says it has it's roots not in true modesty, but wanting to be seen
>> as
>> modest and also because such people are really craving affirmation so
>> much,
>> that a slight compliment is never enough.  They say, "It was nothing
>> really"
>> But what they actually want is to be crowned Sun God.  They want to
>> say
>> "Rise my people, lift your faces from the carpet.  Look me in the
>> face."
>> 
> [Mary Replies] 
> I was always in the Marsha camp on this, feeling very uncomfortable with
> compliments until one day it occurred to me that it's part of the social
> dance.  A compliment requires a gracious acceptance because if you fail to
> do that you are in effect questioning the judgment of the complimentor
> (sp?).  To accept a compliment is to give one in return.
> 
> Best to all you lovely people! :)
> Mary


Marsha:
It wasn't so much a compliment but telling me I was right that made me
uncomfortable.  If it was just telling me I was wearing a pretty dress, I 
would probably say 'Thank you.'   






 
 
 
 


Marsha

 
 
 


 
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