[MD] Fire and Rain

[Mary]

Hi John,

I am sorry to hear this news.

Do you have a clipboard?  Put a few sheets of regular-ruled notebook paper
on it and sharpen a No.2 pencil that has a good eraser.  Walk outside into
the woods with your clipboard and No.2 pencil and start writing a list of
everything you value.  No particular order, just write everything you value
as you happen to think of it.  Leave a little space in the left-hand margin
of each one, because after you have written down everything you value, go
back and prioritize each one.  What is number 1?  What do you need to do to
support, nurture, protect, and defend it?  If it conflicts with value number
2 or number 487, that means one of two things.  Either it is not really
number 1, or you do not really value number 2 or 487.  That is what the
eraser is for.

Wishing the best for you,
Mary

- The most important thing you will ever make is a realization.

> 
> Suzanne the plans they made put an end to you
> I woke up this morning, and I wrote down this song.
> I just can't remember who to send it to.
> 
> James Taylor; as learned by the author in miss Ann Roacha's 6th grade
> guitar
> class
> 
> I've been thinking  about miss Ann Roacha, my teacher at Scott's Valley
> Middle School,  who was the sweetest, prettiest, most hip and sexy,
> slender
> and miniskirted teacher I ever saw in my life.  Admittedly, most of my
> previous experience was SDA parochial school, but even so I know she
> was
> something special.  Years later my Uncle Arnold, who lived in Scotts
> Valley
> many years, took guitar from her and still sorta just sighed over her,
> the
> way all men did.   She was the cherry on a perfect existence - Scott's
> Valley, 1971.  Nestled in at the base of the Santa Cruz mounains.  Ann
> taught health as well, so she was my instructress in Sex ed. Drugs and
> Rock
> and Roll.
> 
> Sigh indeed.
> 
> I've been thinking about her, and that guitar class, because of a story
> I've
> been working on.  A story I owe to a girl, a friend of my oldest
> daughter
> Em, who won it from me in a contest.  I'll probably share it when it's
> done,
> because the contest was name the people in the photo on my face book
> page,
> and the people were RMP and Chris, posed on the motorcycle.  The story
> starts with Miss Anne Rocha's guitar class; my mom  interrupting me
> learning
> that song in our fourth week, with terrible news.
> 
> Just yesterday morning, they let me know you were gone...
> 
> But that's not ready yet.  Today you'll hear about the usual subject
> this
> time of year, with a few surprising juxtapositions.
> 
> The usual subject this time of year, is fire -  our only nemesis in
> this
> here neck of the woods.  You might hear about the threats people in
> California live under - floods, earthquakes, tsunami maybe.  But  the
> foothills of the Sierras are impervious to earthquake, riding as we do
> our
> 400 mile long, 20 mile wide, solid slab of granite surfboard, into the
> sunset.  Tsunamis and floods are problems for the valley people and
> coast -
> dwellers at the bottom of our 1800 feet in the air.  Tornadoes and
> Hurricanes happen elsewhere, and our only real fear is fire and only
> from
> July to October.
> 
> There's one started yesterday, pretty close to the same place I saw one
> start last year.  In the woody inaccessible areas below the bullards
> bar
> reservior, right behind my house.  This year I'm not as worried about
> it,
> because the wind's wrong (nice! no smell of smoke) and it  did
> something
> real unusual for this time of year - it rained.  Just a bit, scattered
> drops, no more,  but obviously we've got humidity in the air.  The dry
> eastern wind which dessicated is gone for now.
> 
> 
> Lu and I have agreed to separate.  That's a brand new development.  Not
> with
> any hostility, nor with much sadness.  We both think its a good idea,
> each
> of us for our own reasons, and many good ones we both share.  We've
> discussed it in terms of our community situation and children.   We're
> not
> interested in dating other people (oh god - shudders.  As if any woman
> in
> the world could put up with me except Lu. And if they would, believe
> me,
> they ain't good enough for me.  Sorta one of those groucho marx
> thingies.)
> We're interested in changing some patterns.  And she's working at
> Josh's
> school all week, and our vehicle situation is dire, and it just makes
> sense
> for her to spend the night in town.  Meanwhile, all the piles and piles
> of
> things that our house so desperately needs, don't get done unless I'm
> here
> to do them.  And not even then.  So I guess while I say there's no
> hostility, there's gonna be if I don't get this place in better shape.
> And
> I just don't seem to be much motivated when she's here all the time,
> seeing
> to the things that need to be done, being her sweet, loving self and
> its
> like, I'm perfectly happy so why make any effort?
> 
> So anyway, that's that.  I've had Josh all weekend, just him and me.
> We get
> to  have the house to ourselves apart from feminine domination in   9
> years
> for him, 20 for me.
> 
> So the longing for my wife, and and relief from disapprobation  are
> opposing
> forces in my heart.  Fire and rain.  It fits the mood of the moment.
> 
> I've seen fire, and I've seen rain.
> I've seen sunny days, that I thought would never end.
> I've seen lonely times, when I could not find a friend.
> But I know that I will see her, be with her again.
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