[MD] Fire and Rain

Sun Aug 29 14:08:57 PDT 2010

Thanks for the well-wishes, one and all.  Please rest assured that things
are fine between us.  I'm endlessly devoted to Lu and there will never be
another for me.  But having a strong tie to one another, means that we can
each find our own space and freedom in life, without forcing ourselves to be
always together in our physical space.   Does that make sense?

Shoot Marsha, it should to you.  The whole thing about feminine freedom and
autonomy are things I respect and cherish too. But truth is, in our
children's early years, it takes two people to raise them.  As they get
older, needs shifts.  I've been trying to encourage Lu to get out and on her
own, to build up a work history and network for a long time.  It's something
she might need someday if anything were to happen to me.  I am older than
her and women live longer than men, so it seems a good thing that she get
some life experience on her own before she has to.  Gentler that way.  She's
been reluctant, but now with her job in town, it makes sense to explore in
this direction.

Second of all, I'm looking around at job opportunity and it seems that
working construction isn't going to be an option in the near future, and I'm
getting too old to be walking plate and hanging off trusses anymore anyway.

I've never traveled much, never been west of the Mississippi since I was six
months old and I like long trips.  I always thought I might like to be a
truck driver one day when I got too old to be a framer and down in
Sacramento they're hiring and training, even in this down economy. So I'm
gonna give that a try.   If I do, then she'll have to be more used to being
on her own anyway.

And nowadays, what with nationwide 4g networks and all, I'd get as much
social networking on the road as I do at home anyway.  It's not as lonely a
profession as it used to be.

On Sun, Aug 29, 2010 at 9:47 AM, MarshaV <valkyr at att.net> wrote:

>
> Hi John,
>
> I am sorry to hear about your separation. I hope you and your children
> will all be OK.
>
>
> Marsha
>
>
>
>
>
> On Aug 29, 2010, at 12:16 PM, John Carl wrote:
>
> > Suzanne the plans they made put an end to you
> > I woke up this morning, and I wrote down this song.
> > I just can't remember who to send it to.
> >
> > James Taylor; as learned by the author in miss Ann Roacha's 6th grade
> guitar
> > class
> >
> > I've been thinking  about miss Ann Roacha, my teacher at Scott's Valley
> > Middle School,  who was the sweetest, prettiest, most hip and sexy,
> slender
> > and miniskirted teacher I ever saw in my life.  Admittedly, most of my
> > previous experience was SDA parochial school, but even so I know she was
> > something special.  Years later my Uncle Arnold, who lived in Scotts
> Valley
> > many years, took guitar from her and still sorta just sighed over her,
> the
> > way all men did.   She was the cherry on a perfect existence - Scott's
> > Valley, 1971.  Nestled in at the base of the Santa Cruz mounains.  Ann
> > taught health as well, so she was my instructress in Sex ed. Drugs and
> Rock
> > and Roll.
> >
> > Sigh indeed.
> >
> > I've been thinking about her, and that guitar class, because of a story
> I've
> > been working on.  A story I owe to a girl, a friend of my oldest daughter
> > Em, who won it from me in a contest.  I'll probably share it when it's
> done,
> > because the contest was name the people in the photo on my face book
> page,
> > and the people were RMP and Chris, posed on the motorcycle.  The story
> > starts with Miss Anne Rocha's guitar class; my mom  interrupting me
> learning
> > that song in our fourth week, with terrible news.
> >
> > Just yesterday morning, they let me know you were gone...
> >
> > But that's not ready yet.  Today you'll hear about the usual subject this
> > time of year, with a few surprising juxtapositions.
> >
> > The usual subject this time of year, is fire -  our only nemesis in this
> > here neck of the woods.  You might hear about the threats people in
> > California live under - floods, earthquakes, tsunami maybe.  But  the
> > foothills of the Sierras are impervious to earthquake, riding as we do
> our
> > 400 mile long, 20 mile wide, solid slab of granite surfboard, into the
> > sunset.  Tsunamis and floods are problems for the valley people and coast
> -
> > dwellers at the bottom of our 1800 feet in the air.  Tornadoes and
> > Hurricanes happen elsewhere, and our only real fear is fire and only from
> > July to October.
> >
> > There's one started yesterday, pretty close to the same place I saw one
> > start last year.  In the woody inaccessible areas below the bullards bar
> > reservior, right behind my house.  This year I'm not as worried about it,
> > because the wind's wrong (nice! no smell of smoke) and it  did something
> > real unusual for this time of year - it rained.  Just a bit, scattered
> > drops, no more,  but obviously we've got humidity in the air.  The dry
> > eastern wind which dessicated is gone for now.
> >
> >
> > Lu and I have agreed to separate.  That's a brand new development.  Not
> with
> > any hostility, nor with much sadness.  We both think its a good idea,
> each
> > of us for our own reasons, and many good ones we both share.  We've
> > discussed it in terms of our community situation and children.   We're
> not
> > interested in dating other people (oh god - shudders.  As if any woman in
> > the world could put up with me except Lu. And if they would, believe me,
> > they ain't good enough for me.  Sorta one of those groucho marx
> thingies.)
> > We're interested in changing some patterns.  And she's working at Josh's
> > school all week, and our vehicle situation is dire, and it just makes
> sense
> > for her to spend the night in town.  Meanwhile, all the piles and piles
> of
> > things that our house so desperately needs, don't get done unless I'm
> here
> > to do them.  And not even then.  So I guess while I say there's no
> > hostility, there's gonna be if I don't get this place in better shape.
>  And
> > I just don't seem to be much motivated when she's here all the time,
> seeing
> > to the things that need to be done, being her sweet, loving self and its
> > like, I'm perfectly happy so why make any effort?
> >
> > So anyway, that's that.  I've had Josh all weekend, just him and me.  We
> get
> > to  have the house to ourselves apart from feminine domination in   9
> years
> > for him, 20 for me.
> >
> > So the longing for my wife, and and relief from disapprobation  are
> opposing
> > forces in my heart.  Fire and rain.  It fits the mood of the moment.
> >
> > I've seen fire, and I've seen rain.
> > I've seen sunny days, that I thought would never end.
> > I've seen lonely times, when I could not find a friend.
> > But I know that I will see her, be with her again.
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