[MD] Painting

[Peter Corteen]

Marsha,

you bring to mind a film I saw of Willem de Kooning painting in very old age
and with Alzheimer's disease. It seemed that was the only thing he could do.

I hope your journey brings you joy.

Regards

-Peter

On 20/11/2007, MarshaV <marshalz at charter.net> wrote:
>
> At 05:52 AM 11/20/2007, you wrote:
> >Hi Marsha,
> >
> >sometimes I think painting is the only useful thing I can do and that I
> >should put aside all other considerations of family and finance.
>
> Family and finances stopped me too, but there came a moment when I
> was free.  I fought off every 'but you should' and decided to go for
> it.  I had to hurt my family.  I rejected them thoroughly, and their
> values, but then I had to reject myself too.  My family accept me now
> as I have learned to accept being outside the square.
>
> Laziness, not sure that's the right word, was definitely an
> obstacle.  There were gumption traps everywhere.  I created my own
> studio, and would trick myself into being there and doing it, doing
> anything.  Finally, I surrendered.  In 2001, I moved to this place
> and left a social life behind.
>
>
> >I sometimes I think that the more time I could spend painting then the
> less
> >I would have wasted my life.
>
> Yesterday is yesterday.  Now my life is painting.  Now is now.
>
>
> >And yet I rarely remember those moments of conviction and the reality is
> >that I'm very lazy when it comes to painting!
>
> It's love, a GREAT LOVE........
>
>
> >I thoroughly agree with you that painting is therapy but, unlike you, I
> >think it has to be seen by others to attain it's full value.
>
> Therapy is undertaken to become sane, the last thing I'm looking
> for.  I am an archeologist looking for old bones and that very great
> love.  I'm not afraid to die for those old bones and that great love
> either.  I don't mean to make this so dramatic, it is just a choice.
>
> Marsha
>
>
>
>
> >On 20/11/2007, MarshaV <marshalz at charter.net> wrote:
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > Greetings,
> > >
> > > Maybe I am an exhibitionist, or just plain luney, but painting is an
> > > experience different than anything else in my life.  Printmaking was
> > > the same and it's taken a long time to get back to really working
> > > from the inside out.  I don't know if trying to talk about it will
> > > ever make any sense, but I seem to be compelled to try to talk about
> > > it to dig deeper.
> > >
> > > If you could see the first print I made after my husband died maybe
> > > you'd understand.  It was so dark and scary that it really frightened
> > > me.  I think it is safe to say it was of a woman splintered and out
> > > of her mind.  I don't want to produce such darkness.  There's too
> > > much negativity already.  I just didn't want to go there.
> > >
> > > In 1998 I spent the summer in Italy with a friend and a group of
> > > primarily art students.  I wasn't sure I'd like the art.  I thought
> > > it was all that religious stuff.  But WOW!!!  It swept me away.  I
> > > decided the only thing to do was to just paint.
> > >
> > > You can't think painting, at least I can't.  It has to be quite the
> > > opposite.  I have to let go.  Geez, words suck!!!  The painting is
> > > both the trip and the safety net.  But this MD Discuss forum is also
> > > been very special to me.  It's given me a way to restructure the
> > > world in a way that makes sense during the daylight hours.  It's a
> > > beautiful map!  And you are all beautiful.  In a strange way you are
> > > more my family than my family.  You are my sangha.
> > >
> > > So I thank you all for your giving.
> > >
> > > Marsha
> > >
> > > p.s.  I've got another painting started.  It's much different that
> > > the last one, but also the same.
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
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