[MD] Head, heart & hands

[MarshaV]

On Sep 13, 2010, at 7:23 AM, Ian wrote:

> No I don't think it' particularly British. If I was to generalize, I might say it was oriental - avoiding embarassing the people you deal with - I happen to think it's actually a human trait. And don't forget it's only an adage, not an axiom.
> 
> First reaction should be to tackle personal difficulties, personally. But, that's not a cover for opression or hegemony. Anyone having their "heart" ignored has a right to make their argument public, but that's not the same as saying all dirty washing should be aired in public.
> 
> I happen to see making private contact as a sign of effort - interpreting as Machiavellian or manipulative is in the eyes of a recipient with attitude, rather than the sender, 9 times out of 10.
> 
> Ian

 
Ian, 

Not all private contact is a sign of effort.  Some of it is mean-spirited.   Maybe in this case it shouldn't have been my call, but...   

After my husband died I hooked up with a group of people I really liked.  They were each really good and interesting individuals, but after a year they all seemed to have something negative to say about other group members 'in private'.   Like I said, not all private contact is a sign of effort.   


Marsha 



 
 
> 
> 
> On 13 Sep 2010, at 12:01, MarshaV <valkyr at att.net> wrote:
> 
>> 
>> Hey Ian,
>> 
>> Not meaning to offend, isn't your "Bad news in private, good news in public" an English (My mother's side is English.) perspective.  If you were from a southern European country, might your perspective be different?  And I remember during the 1970s, there was a prominent slogan within the Women's Movement that the personal was political.  Being of German/English heritage, I can suffer greatly for exposing my feelings.
>> 
>> Marsha
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> On Sep 13, 2010, at 6:16 AM, Ian wrote:
>> 
>>> Marsha, John, I hate to be the one defending dmb but offlist traffic is good, when the subject matter is personal, for anyone concerned with positive progress over damaging individuals.
>>> 
>>> Bad news in private, good news in public is my own working adage, and offlist mail is not unusual for you either Marsha, which is the only reason you were mentioned ?
>>> 
>>> DMB's style is dmb's style, on or offlist. Like his style or not, he's consistent.
>>> 
>>> Ian
>>> 
>> 
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