[MD] Head, heart & hands

[John Carl]

I agree with you Marsha, although with my own perspective and a bit of extra
intensity.  I think in all things that ultimately, an open source society
holds the key to many ills.  Men hide because of shame.  With no shame,
there is no hiding.  And in an interesting way, if you stop hiding, you stop
being ashamed.  It's actually healing.  And I'm a big fan.

Not that "full disclosure" is always the Quality thing to do.  Heavens no!
 Nobody is interested in anyone else's bowel movements.... (well I dunno,
maybe frank...)  you gotta pick and choose for goodness sake.  Try and stick
to what's important.  That's my motto.

Right now moving my family out of our domicile of 18 years is much on MY
mind.  Talk about changing static patterns!  I wonder if part of the reason
I've driven them all out is so they can get at least a small taste of that
scourge of mine and Lu's early existence, moving a lot.

With her it was really horrendous, what with the continent-hopping cultural
shifts from Industrial England, to Africa, to Mauritius and then back to
England, then New Jersey, then the strangest continent of all - California.

So it's reasonable to see how she especially wanted to stay put for a while,
even past the stage of reasonableness.


Packin' John



On Mon, Sep 13, 2010 at 4:33 AM, MarshaV <valkyr at att.net> wrote:

>
>
> On Sep 13, 2010, at 7:23 AM, Ian wrote:
>
> > No I don't think it' particularly British. If I was to generalize, I
> might say it was oriental - avoiding embarassing the people you deal with -
> I happen to think it's actually a human trait. And don't forget it's only an
> adage, not an axiom.
> >
> > First reaction should be to tackle personal difficulties, personally.
> But, that's not a cover for opression or hegemony. Anyone having their
> "heart" ignored has a right to make their argument public, but that's not
> the same as saying all dirty washing should be aired in public.
> >
> > I happen to see making private contact as a sign of effort - interpreting
> as Machiavellian or manipulative is in the eyes of a recipient with
> attitude, rather than the sender, 9 times out of 10.
> >
> > Ian
>
>
> Ian,
>
> Not all private contact is a sign of effort.  Some of it is mean-spirited.
>   Maybe in this case it shouldn't have been my call, but...
>
> After my husband died I hooked up with a group of people I really liked.
>  They were each really good and interesting individuals, but after a year
> they all seemed to have something negative to say about other group members
> 'in private'.   Like I said, not all private contact is a sign of effort.
>
>
> Marsha
>
>
>
>
>
> >
> >
> > On 13 Sep 2010, at 12:01, MarshaV <valkyr at att.net> wrote:
> >
> >>
> >> Hey Ian,
> >>
> >> Not meaning to offend, isn't your "Bad news in private, good news in
> public" an English (My mother's side is English.) perspective.  If you were
> from a southern European country, might your perspective be different?  And
> I remember during the 1970s, there was a prominent slogan within the Women's
> Movement that the personal was political.  Being of German/English heritage,
> I can suffer greatly for exposing my feelings.
> >>
> >> Marsha
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >> On Sep 13, 2010, at 6:16 AM, Ian wrote:
> >>
> >>> Marsha, John, I hate to be the one defending dmb but offlist traffic is
> good, when the subject matter is personal, for anyone concerned with
> positive progress over damaging individuals.
> >>>
> >>> Bad news in private, good news in public is my own working adage, and
> offlist mail is not unusual for you either Marsha, which is the only reason
> you were mentioned ?
> >>>
> >>> DMB's style is dmb's style, on or offlist. Like his style or not, he's
> consistent.
> >>>
> >>> Ian
> >>>
> >>
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